Acting the Part - Exploring Gender on a Hot Summers Day

 "A fun workshop in a safe space and setting for first time gender experimenters and the curious to lose their inhibitions and explore first hand playing around with gender. Basically lots of cross dressing, make up and wigs combined with theatre games, and a few drinks thrown in!"

Light, bright and a lovely place to work
- The Soho Collective

Saturday 22nd of August and we suddenly have one hot summer's day amongst the banks of rain clouds rolling up from the south. Normally a chance to get out and revel in the sun, but not today. In fact for me the heat was about the worst weather option that could have happened, considering what I had in store. I'm not at all comfortable when the temperature rises so summer for me is generally considered the cross-dressing 'off season' (not 'closed season' please note - never that...). But there I was on the tube to Soho with the full kit-and-caboodle in a bag (and some!) looking forward to a trip to the Soho Collective on Moor Street. I was also running a bit late which only added to my general discomfort so all in all I wasn't ideally prepared when I finally nipped in through the front door...

I'd first seen mention of the Gender Workshop on the TVChix website but it was soon apparent that it was also advertised in a few other places as well and a couple of things about it appealed (apart from the obvious keywords like 'crossdressing',  'make up', 'wigs' and 'drinks' of course)  For one thing it wasn't just a M2F event. It was an open invitation to anyone who wanted to explore and play around with gender, which was a bit refreshing really. I thought it would be interesting to mix with others approaching it from a different angle than my own, to hopefully have a few cis gender females for example, and maybe to do something a bit different. Secondly I saw that Cindy of the 'boyswillbegirls' dressing service was one of the facilitators and would be doing the make up and as everyone said how lovely she was (and as I'm pretty rubbish with make up) that was a definite plus too. And thirdly... well it was just a great opportunity to get dressed, have some fun and maybe see if anything unexpected or unanticipated came out of the day!

Like this, only on a rotund middle aged man... Easy!

So after a bit of thought I'd signed up and paid up and been welcomed onto the course. As the big day loomed, amongst other things we had been encouraged to think of a character or archetype that we'd like to explore, of any gender. Partly out of convenience (so I wouldn't have to buy anything) I'd gone with a 30s femme fatale, impossibly-chic Vogue model-type of looks that I've always found so fascinating. I think it's the accentuating of the curves and the elegant pose that attracted me to this particular style - certainly not the practicalities of replicating them on my frame on a hot summers day! But then that's half the fun and frustration of being a cross-dresser - setting yourself apparently unachievable targets but really having fun trying to get somewhere, anywhere, near the ballpark with them. Anyway, by the time it was apparent that the weather really required thin white cotton dresses like a Cadbury's Flake girl in a flower meadow, I was already packed and ready to go. It seems I was destined to be film noir on a sunny day!

So, on my slightly breathless and definitely warm arrival I made my way up the stairs to join the waiting group (yes I was a little late) and we then had a quick chance to chat whilst grabbing a glass of water. Without getting into too much detail on the other participants (and we agreed not to publish photos of each other either) it seems we were a smallish but quite diverse group. One  middle-aged TV on their own (me); another TV the same age as me with cis female partner; a third TV in their 30s, a non TV male open to trying something new and a cis female, also up for something new and intrigued at the possibility of exploring the masculine (I hope these rather broad descriptions are acceptable. I'm using the term TV as a short- hand really as I'm not sure how the individuals would prefer to be described and of course I'm happy to change it if you let me know).

So, with us all nervously trying to cool down, our workshop leader (ex-drag artiste, current yoga instructor and all-round nice guy) Alexander went through the introductions giving us a flavour of what was to come. Roughly speaking it would consist of periods of introductions, theatre exercises, transformations, character exploration, expedition, feedback & debrief. Quite a menu really. As it turned out Alexander was also having a party after the event that we were all invited to attend, so in effect meeting all his guests almost constituted a separate phase in itself! Alongside Alexander and Cindy was theatre director Clemence making up the third member of the team. It was Clemence with her professional acting background that took the lead in the various warm-ups and exercises that constituted the first section.

Independent cat is not impressed

Now I have to confess something here. I'm not generally the world's best at theatre style warm-ups, especially those tacked on to the start of training or team away-days. Nor even those sessions when you have to say which animal you most resemble and then listen to the umpteenth person tell you that cats are independent and give out love on their own terms! thank you very much. And then no-one thinks you're clever if you plump for a Puffin, basically because it's very friendly and enjoys a good fish supper. I mean those sort of 'warm ups' are bad enough but put in something physical and I'm straight on full evade/undermine mode, along with everyone other than the team exhibitionist of course, who really can't wait...

Well anyway it wasn't like that. Mainly I think because I'd decided to come, paid to be there and by jingo I was going to get my money's worth! So I threw myself into them with gusto, if not much experience. Actually some of the exercises were very interesting, like walking in a crowd and catching the eye of someone approaching - hold the gaze for five seconds as you pass - then break. That's quite hard as I didn't realise how little I look at others faces until I had to catch their eyes and maintain it - and then it went up to ten seconds and that was really hard! I wasn't sure how to hold a facial expression either for so long. What do you do? Smile? Be serious? Be aware that you're no oil painting? Be slightly awkward that you're unabashedly staring at a woman? All very tricky.

As these exercises progressed, individuals started going out to Cindy for the make-up phase and coming back looking... well, very different. After a few had been made up we sort of reached a critical mass and then it was the 'transformation phase' where we all went off to finish the make-up and to change into our characters. Many sensible and interesting outfits were tried and tested but only one was daft enough to go all theatrical and to require cleavage boosting, seamed nylons, hat-pins and various sets of pearls. Consequently I fear I took far, far longer than everyone else to get ready and was probably quite unpopular and no doubt labelled dammingly as the team exhibitionist, before I could finally sweep back to rejoin the group. So then we had some more exercises and discussions around either the character we inhabited or how we felt, depending on where people felt comfortable. I was very much a 'character' and happy to answer as though I'd just come off the set of a black and white movie but others felt they had to answer the questions truthfully and as themselves. This was very interesting and I'm not sure it was all that expected by the facilitators. We were all there for different reasons of course, but at that point it seemed to me that some were investing a great deal more than others to explore of the nuances of gender and that it might not necessarily be a pain-free experience either. This section of the day was possibly the least straightforward, possibly the least assured and yet possibly the most insightful. Not for everyone maybe but it seemed that it might be for those that were struggling with gender as opposed to those who were exploring it. And maybe that rough division amongst the participants was significant as well in determining how succesful the day had been for each of them, I'm not sure, that thought's a little deep for me really so I'll just back off and leave it there...

Anyway, next up was the TASK!

It was Titanic all over again...

And out task was to go out dressed onto the streets of Soho to buy some ice and wine for the upcoming post-workshop party. Not too bad and everyone seemed up for it (there was an opt out for this one) so off we went as a mad gaggle of drag and drabbies, past the cafes and bars down to the shop on the corner of Frith Street. We were certainly gaining attention and no doubt a few comments, but I tend to be in a bit of a 'can't hear, won't hear' mode when I'm out so I just carried on, as did everyone else. As it turned out they had no ice in store so on I went with one of our 'male' participants (I'll call him Julian, as that's what he called himself) to a wine shop called Gerry's on Old Compton Street. For some reason the assistant looked a bit nonplussed when we went in, which suprised me for a Soho shop really, but a bottle of white Rioja was puchased, along with two bags of ice, and Julian dutifully shouldered the burden of the ice for the stroll back. I of course, held on to the wine...

Having all succesfully returned to base it was time for a debrief, and interestingly Julian said how protective he had felt walking along with us.Whether he was reacting in  protective male manner or a supportive female manner I'm not sure, but it was an interesting reaction I thought. I can't say I felt particularly protective toward anyone else, but then I'm probably oblivious and only looking out for number one ;-)  Did Julian feel threatened himself in any way I wonder? Probably not as I suspect he was too busy looking after us to worry about himself.

View From The Top

After the debrief the workshop came to a close. Some got changed and left but most of us stayed around for the party and chatted at length to the facilitators and other participants. As a bonus we all ended up on the roof with its great views down on Soho and many photos were taken, even if some of us were looking distinctly frowsy by that stage of the evening. I think it only fair to report that I was indeed the last trans standing before taking off the make-up and disappearing into the evening.

The journey home was interesting as I ended up chatting to a hen-party of policewomen on the tube, complimenting someone on their dress and then stopping off for some chips and a gherkin. It was only on my return home that my wife commented on the fact that I''d merely smudged my eye make-up and in fact looked like a debauched middle-aged Alice Cooper. Which is not bad really as he looks like a debauched old Alice Cooper these days and still gets away with it. 

So if I scared you on the tube last Saturday I apologise, but when you've had a fun evening exploring gender it does actually seems quite an apt way to end the day...